When locusts are a good thing

“…when morning came, the east wind had brought the locusts.” Exodus 10:13 There I was this morning, in my gown, trying to sneak out into the yard and retrieve today’s paper from the foot of the pine tree without attracting the attention of the neighbors. As I bent over, my head close to the tree,…

Make all the difference

Husband and I have made it our mission to avoid the interstate at all cost. Despite feeling like you are being shot out of a dangerous, crowded canon for hours on end, you can’t even see anything outside the window except for a green blur with the occasional neon blip. However, just on the other…

Nice white rice…

I was recently invited by a former college classmate to attend a Free Accent Reduction Seminar she was teaching for “people with heavy regional dialects that they would like to tone down.” Well, thanks, but no thanks. Many of you, dear readers, have heard me speak live and in person and know that I do…

Healthy eating made easy

At lunch yesterday, in an effort to be health-conscious, I ordered a vegetable plate. Collards, fried green tomatoes, fried eggplant slices, and macaroni and cheese were my selections from the vast list of vegetables prepared by Lloyd’s, one of Birmingham’s landmark diners. They all arrived at my table escorted by a bowl of iceberg lettuce…

The dark blot

I like to say that I was raised Baptistmethodistepiscopalholiness with a little dash of Church of God thrown in for good measure. As the daughter of Episcopalian parents, with Baptist and Methodist grandparents, Holiness friends, and Church of God help, religion was always close at hand, not to mention the fact that in a town…

My kingdom for a dead snake

Dawg Days are upon us. Go on…draw that syllable out just like the heat and humidity that threatens to stretch clear to Halloween. It’s too hot to talk fast. Too hot to think fast. Too hot to do much besides indolently stand in the yard dribbling precious cool water on flowers as parched as you…

Guilty pleasures

Last Friday night, Husband and I had the good fortune to eat dinner at Satterfield’s in Cahaba Heights. From the cheese plate to dessert, I have to say that every little mouthful was just divine, but I most especially enjoyed one of my guiltiest pleasures – rabbit. Now Husband doesn’t eat anything that once had…

Back to school

Today is the first day of school. New clothes, binders, pencils, and paper. New hope for a better year, nice friends, and teachers who aren’t too hard. A chance to reinvent yourself for the year. Find your niche. Make your mark. Change the world. The possibilities stretch out before you like the line in the…

Why I love crime (The final installment)

My mama once said to me during one of our frequent political discussions, “I don’t believe in the death penalty. I’ve known plenty of murderers, and they weren’t all bad people.” Plenty of murderers, I wondered? Plenty as in “existing in ample quantity or number?” My sweet mama? Well, yes. And come to think of…

Why I love crime (The redux)

A doll is boring. And vaguely scarey with her fixed, blinking eyes. She just lies there. Staring. A fingerprint. Now there is something flat interesting! Here’s what a doll has: hair plugs. Here’s what a fingerprint has: whorls. Which sounds more interesting to you? Baw had had the misfortune of contracting tuberculosis and spent many…