Am I in Hell or is it just summertime?

It not the heat it’s the damned humidity! You hear that plenty down here in the South. And it’s true! Our close proximity to the Gulf of Mexico means that the air is pretty well waterlogged with tropical moisture. And while this muggy climate is great for your skin, it’s bad for your health. You…

The Turnip Truck

Turnips are dumb. They’re poor too. Bless their silly, impoverished hearts. You’ve heard it said before: I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck. It’s a phrase that’s used to indicate that you’re not naive, you’re not ignorant, you’re not a gullible rube riding in the back of the flatbed with a bunch of sad…

There’s more than one way to skin a cat

I keep a list. Written in pen on paper. Plus, I have a spreadsheet. Once I started collecting the Southern sayings, I couldn’t stop! My little list that started out with a couple of phrases scribbled on a piece of scratch paper has since grown to at least 400 colloquialisms, and I’m trying to figure…

Stand on a nickel…

He wore a white oxford shirt, frayed at the collar and cuffs. Long, bony wrists protruded from his sleeves. His hair was always a little shaggy, what there was left of it. His tie was stained with the remnants of sandwiches past, threadbare, wrinkled. Khaki pants, just a little too short. If he’d’ve kicked off…